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5 Sep


9 Apr

Elvishjesusfreak's Blog

Depression isn’t just sadness.

It isn’t something you can fix by finding something to make you happy.

It’s the voice that pulls you out of your happiness,

the voice that makes you worry how things will go wrong soon.

The voice that tells you nothing is good enough.

The voice that whispers to you that no one cares.

The voice that says you don’t deserve to happiness.

There doesn’t have to be a reason to be depressed,

Everything could be perfectly fine until it rears its ugly head.

Telling you to bleed, to slide the blade over your smooth skin once more.

Telling you how worthless and screwed up you are.

Telling you that people who care are a lie, they won’t stick around.

They never do.


People think depression is just sadness,

they tell you to get over it or

they, with good intentions, try to help.


View original post 24 more words



4 Oct

just a thought

An Update, A Piercing, A Song, and Other Randomness :)

10 Jun

Hey everyone! Once again, I return to my much-neglected blog.

I know I had something I wanted to post about today. I just wish I could remember what it was.

Anyway, my brain is dying because the school year is (finally) coming to a close. I only have Spanish left, but I have about 14 lessons to do by this Thursday night. Eek! Wish me luck!

This has been an interesting school year, filled both with ups and downs. Actually, a lot of downs. But the ups have all been totally worthwhile–from NaNoWriMo, to The Warrior and trying to learn two parts at once, to meeting my fabulous friends who attend the same online school I do, to gaining a whole bunch of followers, watching the Truman Show for the first time, getting my ears double-pierced… there have been a lot of ups as well.

All I know is, I could not have made it through this school year without my friends and family, and, most importantly, God. He is amazing. He just is.

Well, I don’t really have much else to say…

Umm… I got my ears double-pierced! Exciting, no?

I got a job!

Like, a real, paid job! I’ll be working in a library twenty hours a week this summer. At minimum wage, that’s the most money I’ve ever made in that amount of time. I’m super excited–I’ll be doing things from cataloging on the computer, to possibly book repair(!), maybe some photo editing, and whatever random tasks need done in the back of the library. And honestly, it boils down to this: I wouldn’t have been able to have this opportunity without some handy connections, and, ultimately, God providing in ways I just didn’t expect. Isn’t God just cool that way?

Anyway, while I’ll miss certain bits of this school year (like The Warrior!), I’m glad it’s coming to a close, and excited to see what God has in store for me this summer and junior year.

Why don’t I write things down when they come to me? I had a song picked out to post at the end of this post (that sounded repetitive), but right now I can’t even think what it was…

So in the meantime enjoy “Believe” by The Letter Black (which sounds kind of like a mix between Skillet and Evanescence).

Well, that’s all for now. Sorry I haven’t been posting! I still love you all 😉

Over and out,

Two of Dory’s Best Ever Moments

7 May

Last night, I watched Finding Nemo. In Spanish, actually. Nonetheless, certain bits of it really stuck out to me more than usual. I can pretty much quote the entire movie, but it’s so interesting how you get something new out of a movie or book every time you watch/read it.

If you haven’t seen the movie, then go watch it as soon as you possibly can, but in the meantime watch this awesome clip. If you have, watch the following clip anyway. This is Dory’s life philosophy.

Awesome, no? But really. When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming! Just keep on pushing through it, even when things get really tough. It is so worth it. You WILL get through even the toughest times.

Now watch this clip. The very end could be a little longer there, but that’s okay. It was the best video of it I could find.

Sometimes, escape is right in front of us. But we fail to recognize it as such.

Eh-scap-ay. That’s funny…it’s spelled just like the word ‘escape’…

Know what that escape is?


All you’ve got to do is give everything up to Him.

How often do we think we’re too insignificant to trouble God with our problems?

That because obviously God doesn’t care since He let it happen to us, there is no escape?

We even can recognize that talking to God could help us.

But sometimes, we just aren’t willing to let go.

My youth group went recently to an event called Acquire the Fire (ATF), a really neat youth conference that travels all over the U.S. The whole theme was “Normal’s Not Enough.” To be more than the “average Christian,” you have to give up everything to God. The sins, the temptations. The situations beyond our own control. And God doesn’t just want the negative, either. He wants all of us.

It got me thinking. Man, there are some aspects of my life that I just am not willing to let go of. Why?

Because as humans, we get the false idea that we can do it on our own. That we don’t want God’s help if it means sacrificing something.

We are so blind to the escape right in front of us. Even if it does look suspiciously like escape. Not to say God will just take our problems away, but He can and will help us to get through them.

It is an escape from ourselves. But more so, an escape from Satan and the lies that he manages to make us believe.

I very recently went to a girls’ retreat at my church called “Something Beautiful.” So many girls, and guys too, are falling for the lies that you have to be physically attractive to get anywhere in life. And that they aren’t attractive. We don’t realize that what is inside is so much more important.

Eating disorders. Depression. Anxiety. Self harm. Suicide and suicide attempts. All of these things have been on the rise.

Our society is so messed up. We can’t continue believing the lies of this world. My generation is so appearance-oriented. God is the only one who can help us stop believing Satan’s lies.

Escape is there.

We just have to take it.

Will you?

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -Matthew 6:34-35

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. -1 Peter 5:7

Faith and Facebook Messages…

19 Mar

Hey everyone, sorry it’s felt like I’ve abandoned you lately… I haven’t! I promise!

Life’s just been busy, and stressful–more so than usual–and I haven’t had the time nor motivation to blog. But, here I am!

Yesterday, one of my friends Facebook messaged me. Three simple words: Hold to eternity. I’ve been really stressed, and generally just kind of “eh” lately…not going into details. But let me tell you, those three simple words brought a smile to my face. Hold to eternity. Even when it feels like I’m completely alone, or the world is, as another put it, just “grey,” I know in my heart that God will never leave me, or stop caring about me. When I feel out of place in this world, I think it is a longing for a better one–heaven, and the life that is yet to come. Take your best memory. Now times it by infinity, and then infinity again, and again, and again… that’s heaven. We can’t even comprehend how amazing it’s going to be.

Three words. Three words that gave me hope. You know who you are, and I want to say thank you for letting God use you to help me through this.

Readers, even when life is at its bleakest, remember your savior, Jesus Christ, and what he did for you. Think of the happiness that awaits us in heaven.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. ~Revelation 21:4

Think about that for a minute. A time with no more pain, no more death, no more mourning. We can hold out until then.

Hold to eternity.

<3 Paperclip101

Ooh! Awards!!! xD

29 Feb

Hello, my wonderful blog readers!

I’m going to cheat on my blog post today, because my amazing friend Birdi gave me two awards! Since these are my first ever, bear with me as I’m a bit excited 😉

First up, we have “Mr. Sparkly’s Ten Commandments.” I kid you not. That is what it’s called. Anyway, it has 10 questions I have to answer, etc. So. Let’s go for this!!!

Mr. Sparkly's Ten Commandments

1. Describe yourself in seven words: Random, crazy, Jesus-Freak (we’ll just pretend that’s one word), disorganized, sporadic, writer, romantic (as in I’m a romantic, not that I am romantic, if that makes any sense.) […I have a feeling my bracket use broke the rules :P]

2. What keeps you up at night: Lots. Everything from what I’m going to do with my life, to what college I’m going to and when, to little things that happened throughout the day.

3. Whom you’d like to be:  A lot of things that I currently am not 😉

4. What are you wearing right now: Um… blue socks, pink pajama bottoms (At 4:20 in the afternoon!), a pink Connections Academy shirt, and a pink Lincoln City sweatshirt. And my (pink) purity ring. Hmm. I don’t usually wear this much pink…

5. What scares you: Spiders. The future. Certain movies. Books. Human nature. Other people’s blood. But most of all, carnival rides. Water Slides. Anything of that sort. *shudder*

6. What are the best and the worst things about blogging: Well, the best: Having a place to post my random thoughts, and know that people actually read them. All my wonderful followers, and seeing my stats go up ^.^

Worst: When I have a day with depressingly low views, or when I can’t think what to blog or just don’t have time to and feel like I’m abandoning all you wonderful readers…

7. What was the last website you looked at: Birdi’s wonderful blog so that I could copy the award info, but before that my school website.

8. If you could change one thing about yourself what would you change: …Hmm. I would be taller, and… less pessimistic?

9. Slankets, yes or no: I have NO idea what a slanket is… it sounds… bad, somehow…

10. Tell us something about the person that nominated you: Birdi is an amazing teenage girl, whose blog I discovered I-don’t-remember-how, and who recently underwent scoliosis surgery. She’s random, funny, smart, and brave. Oh, and she lives in New Zealand, and thus has the coolest accent ever. Seriously. And also, for the record, her blog is amazing, and she writes in third person on it.

Next up, we have the Sunshine Award 2011 (which sounds nice and cheerful, does it not?)

Sunshine Award...

Favorite color: Blues, greens, and turquoises. And some shades of purple ^.^

Favorite animal: Cats, and horses. Definitely.

Favorite number: 3, 17, and 13. Yes, I do like the number 13, even though it is so-called unlucky. (And as for 3 and 17, I have no idea why I like them. I just do.)

Favorite drink: Coffee, or tea. And either of those can be iced or hot. Depends on my mood ^.^

Facebook or twitter: Facebook, most definitely. I’m addicted to that site. And, correct me if I’m wrong, but Twitter just seems so… pointless somehow…

My passion: Theatre, writing, and singing. Yup 🙂

Getting or giving presents: Hmm… that’s a really good question. Depends on who the present’s from, and what it is 😛

Favorite pattern: I’m going to have to say, patterns like the one on the side of this post somewhere, although I also really like plaids, and polka dots, and stripes, and random swirls. But probably that one, and cool random swirly designs. Aren’t you glad you asked?

Favorite day of the week: Um… I… don’t… know? Now that I’m a homeschooler, all the days kind of blend together and I can’t tell one day from the next, except for weekends (which I can’t really say I like, either…) Probably Sundays or Fridays. But NOT Mondays.

Favorite flower: That question is like, impossible. I like daisies, roses, lilacs, bleeding hearts… I don’t know. Flowers are so unique, and no matter which kind it is, there’s something pretty about any flower.

Technically, I’m supposed to present these two awards to wonderful bloggers…


I’m going to be totally different and create my OWN award to present! (I know, you’re thinking “What?! Is she allowed to do that?!” Well, I don’t know. But all awards have to get started somehow, don’t they?)

Remember that pretty blue pattern? Well check this out…

Now then, this lovely image (edited by me on Picnik) is the official Paperclip Award!

See how I combined the butterfly from Mr. Sparkly and the daisy from the Sunshine Award? *nodnod*

Anyway, this award shall be presented to wonderful and amazing bloggers who inspire… well, whoever awards it to them.

[I can’t help but wonder if this award will actually start something…]

RULES: If you are awarded the Paperclip Award, you must answer the 13 prompts given, and then you must give the award to 13 bloggers (although, as the creator of the award, I’m giving you permission to give it to less, or more, and bend the rules a little) and give a link to their blogs. Also, no awarding the blogger who awarded you! Got that? 😉

1. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

2. What is your ultimate favorite place to be?

3. Name one famous person who inspires you. (Just one!!!)

4. Tea or Coffee?

5. If you could be any other person for 48 hours, who would you be?

6. What is your earliest memory?

7. If you could ask anyone in the world, living or dead, anything, who would you ask, and what would you ask them?

8. What is the scariest thing you have ever done?

9. What is your favorite book?

10. Briefly explain one of the weirdest dreams you have ever had.

11. What one song best describes you? (Feel free to post a link to a Youtube vid)

12. Pen or pencil?

13. Is 13 an  unlucky number or not?

Now then, I would like to award Birdi, even though she was the one who gave me the original awards. Birdi, you’re amazing, and so brave, and on top of that your blog is just plain fun to read.

I’d also like to award my wonderful friend Miss.Adriana because I love being able to go to her blog and just read what’s in her heart. She’s an awesome blogger, and she should know how much I appreciate her 🙂

Now then, I’d also like to give this award to Hope. Hope, your are just plain amazing, and I love to read your blog ^.^

For my last person, I’d like to present the Paperclip Award to Cassandra Bloom. Although relatively new to the blogosphere, her blog is so much fun to read, and definitely entertaining. You keep at it, girl!

Award away, you four! I love you all so much 🙂

Also, thank you sooooo much Birdi for these two awards! You have no idea how much it means to me 🙂 (If I ever get another one, I’ll be sure to actually follow the rules :P)

Sorry I haven’t been posting anything super interesting… I promise I’ll get around to it eventually! Until then, bear with me!

Until later, my friends,

Paperclip101EDIT (3/1/12): I was also going to give the Paperclip Award to my friend Dizziizzi, for a couple reasons: 1) She is always there for me (because yes, this blogger is one of the few that I actually know in person) and 2) her blog is so much fun to read, and even makes you think from time to time 🙂 But yes, Izzi, you were originally going to get this award, and I somehow forgot to mention your name, even though I had this weird nagging feeling that I was missing someone…